stream of conciousness

Absurdity. I am. And I like that word. It sounds what it is. Uncanny balance. Rediculous parallels.

For the challenge of it all

Addicted to books like computer games

fractions (5/16) and fragments that come falling
like rain, and I don't know if I'm nuts, .......... or
maybe ..................(or maybe)
just/more of a
...............................(more of a . ' , ")

than them.
Than them. Than Them thanthem thanthemthanthemthanthemthanthe/m,
..............................................................and
wh/o is comparing? we're all just fractions (5/16) and
doomfully nothing is (quite)/new ..................only
maybe...................(maybe)
(more)thanthemthanthemthanmaybeI'mnutslikethem.

The Uninvisibles

Shimmering and glowing, they stand up and are seen.
They are the shimmering and glamorous,
and they force us to look and behold.
Their splendor dazzles us until out eyes are
too contracted to see anything else.
They are like rotten eggs that have been painted;
they have pretty shells.
They are the visibles.

They slip by peacefully, content in unpublicity. Simple.
Unwanted by the visibles except to be
their audience and source of loyal acclaim.
They're hardly noticed. They attract no attention
into their humbly lit world.
They are like plain surfaced rocks;
perhaps there are crystals inside.
They are the invisibles.

They're what both worlds bear alike
though not received alike by both.
They are the growing ones, too small to be seen,
too beautiful to be ignored.
They beg our attention, yet we hardly notice
with our contracted and dimmed eyes.
They are like delicate flower buds;
there is a promise if they are not killed.
They are the uninvisibles.

Marriage: The act of uniting a man and woman for life; wedlock; The legal union of a man and woman for life. Marriage is a contract both civil and religious, by which the parties engage in living together in mutual affection and fidelity, till death shall separate them. Marriage was instituted by God himself... for promoting domestic felicity, and for securing the maintenance and education of children.
From American Dictionary of the English Language Noah Webster 1828

I have a couple relatives in Germany,
and a friend of mine's older brother delivers supplies to the troops in Iraq.
So in honor of them, I'd like to share this picture.

PRESSURED TO BE LEADERS OF AN UTOPIA

Does it ever seem that you are bound down by a sense of duty, a strict idea of what is 'right', and that somehow your happiness lies beyond this 'right', so maybe it's not really 'right' after all? It seems as if the young people of today are expected to do so much, be tomorrow's everything, the hope of their fellows,and the saviors of the world form undoubted and unidentifiable doom. It's as if I and my peers are not allowed to breath unless we are breathing in our tireless work to help people and save the world.
I don't understand this. Our parents perhaps had the same pressure, and as they did not live up to it, they place it on us. Generation after generation, placing their hope for the future in their children. I'd like to object to this legacy on 3 points:
1. Does the future have to necessarily be good? Considering that our parents will be dead by the time this 'future' rolls around, what do they care? If the future is not heaven, at least it is reality.
2. If the future is, by some unknown decree, supposed to be utopia and all that, why should we be the ones to bring it about if so many generations before us have obviously failed?
3. Isn' it rather ridiculous to place one's hope in one's children, especially since so much of the child's faults are inherited from the parents?
I think in this sense, the parents are the ones being irrationally idealistic, and the teenagers the ones being understandably rebellious, not because of some idea of drug and sex freedom in their own minds, but because of the perfect economy and relaxed lifestyle dream of their parents.

Are the trees purple in your dream? Tell me,
tell me, in your dream, is the water red?
What do you want or wish for- tell me,
tell me- that is not in part here?
Am I there? In your dream, tell me-
Tell me, In your dream. Are you there?

Happiness

Happiness and Us

Happiness. People use it to deceive themselves, to prove the supposed goodness of bad things.

'Happiness comes from good things.'
+ 'This makes me happy.'
= 'This must be good.'

Happiness does not always come from good things.
People also draw strength from it, a sort of emotional security. Unfortunately, happiness is very illusive; it vanishes, and you don't even know why. Or, is it a result of the choice to hope and not despair?

Despair.....x.....Hope
/........................\
V.........................V
'Utter grief'................... 'Happiness'

Happiness' Source
Is happiness merely an illusive emotion, or is it the result of a choice? What is its source? I think ability to be happy comes from 1 source, but happiness itself is triggered by several sources.
For example, music brings about the heightening of many emotions, especially happiness.
Another example: when a friend smiles because they are glad to see you, you are a source of happiness for them.

Mapping out Happiness
Happiness has many flavors, tones, shades. I like to think that happiness is rather like the spectrum of visible light rays.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

At the red end 'fun', in the yellow is what people usually think of when they think of happiness. At the purple end is 'contentment'.
The 'fun' is giggly goofiness that little kids like. 'I'm having so much fun! Yeah!'
The yellow is where most adults are when they are telling themselves, 'I am happy= this is good.'
The purple is the deep happiness, rooted in hope. This is the happiness that is chosen, the happiness that despair tries to erode.
More on Happiness later.

ART I ~What is art?

What is art?
Art is. . . Does anyone really know? Anyone can give examples, but does anyone really know?
I think it is the explaining of the wild torrents of our minds. It is the taking of what we hold to be true and making it pleasing and accessible to others. It is a teaching of truth, an explaining of mysteries which transcend our limited comprehension. It is a window into another's soul. It is a source of hope when we have given up on beauty and truth.
Beauty and Truth are far from always agreeing. But in art they are shown as sisters.